If life were a novel

I can't think of anything English major-y to write. You'd think this would be easy for a creative writing major like me! But alas, my creative juices are running low today, and I have nothing interesting to say.

If my life was like one of the stories I like to read, this blog would be a lot more exciting. If it was a science fiction novel, I would be sitting here deciding what to write, and then all at once an alien spaceship would appear outside my window, and aliens would come out and tell me that they have travelled back in time to protect me because the whole future of the universe depends on me, and the evil aliens are going to come back in time and try to destroy me. It would probably look something like this:

Or, if my life were like one of the Christian horror stories by Ted Dekker I like to read, I wouldn't be typing this on a blog, I would be writing it out in one of the Books of History that make everything written in them come true. Then, I would probably unintentionally bring evil into the world, and Marsuvees Black would wreck havoc on Millikin, like this:


Or if my life was like a soap opera, a random stranger would discover this blog, see my picture on it, and realize that he was my long lost father. He would come find me and explain to me that I was kidnapped at birth after the doctor in the hospital turned out to really be my birth mother's crazy ex-husband looking for revenge. Then he would ask me to come back with him to Alaska to live with him and his new wife who is my birth mother's long lost twin sister that he married when my mother fell off a cliff to her death (but he doesn't know that she didn't really die; she is living with the hobo who lives downstream that rescued her when she fell from the cliff). It might look a little like this:

 

Anyway, if you couldn't tell, I'm tired today, so my mind is all over the place. But things would definitely be interesting if real life was like the books/movies/television shows I'd like to write someday. We writers put our characters through a lot!

some other random stuff:
http://www.teddekker.com/home/ in case you want to check out Ted Dekker sometime!
http://engrishfunny.failblog.org/ These are really funny bad translations from different languages to English. (It sort of connects to being an english major because it's in English, right?)

"Writing is like French kissing..."

When I saw Ted Dekker at The Gathering last spring, he said that he once gave a whole presentation on how writing is like French kissing. I'd really like to know how he came to make that connection! I think we writers think differently from the rest of the world. How do I know this? The other day, I was walking with a friend from Hessler to the science building, when we heard this weird noise.
"What's that noise?" my friend asked.
"I don't know. It sounds kind of mechanical," I answered.
"What is that?" he asked again.
"This is the part in the movie where a giant robot comes and steps on us," I replied.
My friend burst out laughing.
My response had made perfect sense to me. While my friend had been trying to figure out what the noise was, my overactive imagination had been thinking of all the things it possibly could have been and had decided that if we were in an action or horror movie, while we were innocently trying to figure out what the source of the sound was, the giant robot that was making the noise would have come up behind us and crushed us.
But my overly creative brain does more than just provide entertainment for my friends. It helped me win a story contest last year, and I got some books as a prize. Here's the story if anyone cares to read it. http://www.adlit.org/fun/writing_contests/exquisite_prompt_challenge/novwinners/dicamillo_novlevel4

another list

I found another really good list of clues you might be a writer. It's scary how accurate some of these are! http://www.jennifer-turner.com/articles/writerif.html

You might be a writer if...

For my birthday last month, one of the presents I got from my parents was a very English major-y sweatshirt. The front of it is plain, and on the back it says:

Top ten clues you may be a writer

1. You would rather talk to the voices in your head than the person sitting by you.

2. You know the library's phone number, but not your work number.

3. Some of the letters on your keyboard are completely worn off.

4. You have a favorite pen that no one else can touch.

5. Books are your favorite scent.

6. If you could meet anyone in the world, it would be your favorite author.

7. You eat macaroni and cheese for a week because you spent all of your money at the bookstore.

8. Your/you're errors drive you crazy.

9. You named your laptop.

10. You would rather write than go out.

I had to laugh when I got it because some of the clues were so accurate. I guess I really am a writer (and apparently a fairly stereotypical one)! And I'm sure I could add onto the list as well: like "11. You point out all the literary devices in the songs you listen to." I found myself doing this yesterday; I had the song "Rent" (from the musical) stuck in my head, and I couldn't help but start trying to analyze lines like "The naration crackles and pops with incendiary wit" that the characters sing while burning their rock posters and screenplays for heat.

Another geeky English major moment: I got really excited over Thanksgiving break because I got to wander around Borders for a while! I hadn't meant to buy anything (I've been trying to save my money), but then I found one of my all-time favorite books, Black by Ted Dekker, that I read a few years back when I borrowed it from a friend. I'd been wanting to reread it for a while, so when I saw it at Borders, I had to open it up and read a few lines from the first couple chapters. Well, once I'd done that, I remembered how much I loved the book, and I couldn't put it down. So I bought it.

12. You might be a writer if you get way too excited over buying a book you've already read.

13. You might be a writer if you get your high school senior pictures taken with one of you favorite books. (The book, by the way, is The Bride Collector by Ted Dekker, and yes, I know I am obsessed with Ted Dekker.)

So, that's that. If I think of any more clues to being a writer/English major, I'll be sure to post them on here as well.